Lifestyle: District 12 or Capitol?

We're a part of the Hunger Games fan mania.  Love the books, saw the movie, painted HG quotes onto t-shirts.  Big fans. My twelve-year-old daughter even led the march into this craze for us because Katniss Everdeen rocks!  She's such a good aim, she consistently shoots squirrels right through the eye!  With an arrow!  She knows how to field dress game and cook it up on an open fire she ignited herself.  She's a kid and a hero/survivalist all wrapped up in a pretty braid of hair.  What's not to love?

So why is it, while watching an episode of Duck Dynasty, where they showed how to prep a freshly killed duck for cooking, we got a "ewwww...gross!" from the kid? Have you seen this show on A&E?  It follows the Robertson family who have built an empire producing and selling duck calls.  The men all have ZZ Top beards, dress in camo and shoot stuff.  Sometimes they're shooting golf balls out of the sky for fun, sometimes it's squirrels off the branches for dinner.  They bring home frogs and the grandma, Miss Kay, fries 'em up in a pan.

I grew up a little redneck and most the redneck fathers out there will insist their children have the skills to feed themselves should the grocery supply chain ever be disrupted.  It was a skill Katniss Everdeen's father taught her.  It's a skill the Robertson family is continuing to pass down. It was a skill I learned at a very early age, but failed to teach my own daughter.

Hunting was tons of fun as a kid.  We all had our own guns - including all the neighborhood kids.  Age appropriate, of course.  You had to be five to get your first BB gun, seven to get your first pellet gun, and ten to get your first .410 shotgun.  As a suburban mother, the thought of arming a ten-year-old with a shotgun seems insane!  And yet, we were all amazingly responsible with our "weapons" even though we were often unsupervised.  There were rules to follow and no one ever was injured.

I've eaten squirrel - but nothing like the eyeball and brain-laden squirrel dumpling soup Miss Kay served up.  We just battered and fried the meat on the bone.  I've eaten frog legs cooked fresh from my grandparents' stock pond.  Dove and deer were often on the menu.  But that was a long time ago.

These days, it's baked (not fried) boneless, skinless chicken breast and handling the raw meat gives me the heebie-jeebies.  I'll wash the skin right off my hands before I'll risk cross-contaminating anything else with salmonella.

There's not a stitch of camo in the house and if there ever came time when we needed some hunting clothes, I'd have to figure out how to pick off all those blasted rhinestones I've spent so much time gluing to everything.  The high heels and flip-flops will be worthless, as will the light jackets that are 'just enough' to get us from the front door to the car and back again.  Barefoot, cold, and sparkly, that'll be us.

I'm thinking that if we suddenly found ourselves in a post-apocalyptic world, the best I could hope for is a good wi-fi connection and a pin for a Martha Stewart tutorial on handcrafting bows...the kind you shoot, not the ones that make packages look pretty!

We'll be fine.  My husband is a computer genius, I'm pretty artsy-crafty, and the kid figure skates really well.  Yep.  Fine.  Good thing I've been saving all those toilet paper cores.  They're sure to come in handy.

May the odds be forever in your favor!

I have a remarkable talent for finding distractions, no matter what I'm supposed to be doing.  Everything got wiped off the to-do list today when I got the urge to paint myself a shirt to wear to The Hunger Games movie.

The kiddo started reading The Hunger Games trilogy and she was enjoying it so much, I thought I might read it, too.  I seldom read books anymore because once I start one, I have to finish it.  Right now.  Instead of doing anything else.  Cover to cover without setting it down, if possible.  It's not really conducive to the mom/wife lifestyle.  The folks around here expect to be fed.  They expect me to be attentive, and yes, showered.

I truly enjoyed the story!  Three books in four days was hard on the family, but they lived, so all is good.  We, of course, have tickets to Friday's show.  The darling daughter has a super cute HG t-shirt that we picked up at the mall when we were trying to find skate wear, but the mama was without - and that just wouldn't do!

Here's how I did it:

DESIGN:  I used PhotoShop to come up with a design using a quote from the book, printed it out, and taped it to a piece of freezer paper (plastic side down).

CUT-OUT:  Using a sharp X-acto knife, I cut out each of the letters - just cut through both layers of paper.  It's hard to see in this pic, but I used stencil style bridges to hold the centers of the letters in place. (For instance, the "O" has two bridges to keep the center from falling away.)

IRON:  I missed a photo opportunity for the next step, but once you're done cutting it all out, carefully pull off the printed sheet and then iron the freezer paper stencil onto your shirt.  Don't worry, the freezer paper adheres to fabric beautifully and peels away cleanly when you're ready.  It doesn't even leave a residue.  I didn't want it to have the stenciled look, so I ironed along the bottom of the freezer paper to stick it into place.  Then I worked in small sections to iron a couple of letters at a time, cutting away the bridges and placing the centers.  It's a little tedious - which is probably why I missed the photo opp - but it was necessary for the look I wanted.

PAINT WHITE:  Once it's all ironed down well, it's time for the fun part!  I used white, "soft" fabric paint.  I've found that even the "soft" stuff has a plastic feel when it's painted on solidly.  To counteract this, I used a make up sponge and dabbed it on.  Two layers of white worked for me.

PAINT BLUE:  Same technique, same type of fabric paint for the next step.  I just dabbed on the blue right on top of the dried white layers.

ADD GLITTER:  Just for fun, I added glitter to the arrowhead and "feathers".  You can't really see it in the finished shirt picture, but in real life, it's spectacular!  For this, I used Tulip's Fashion Glitter Bond glue and Fashion Glitter.  It's supposed to hold up through the wash...?  We'll see.  Either way, it'll make it through movie night.  After that, who knows?


I already have an order for another shirt that says, "Team Peeta".  Hmmm.  Maybe tomorrow...when I should be doing other stuff.  Sounds like a great way to ignore chores!

Candy Party: Whiffle Ball Lights

This is quite possibly my favorite project of the candy party.  We were cleaning out a storage unit and came upon a big bucket of whiffle balls.  The darling daughter wondered aloud, "If we paint them, won't they look like candy with polka-dots?"  Why, yes.  Yes, they would.  Or...

I still had a string of Christmas lights hanging around, the cellophane wrap was a candy party staple already, and the solid color tissue paper was easy to come by.  I was a little leery about wrapping tissue paper around the lights since some lights can generate quite a bit of heat.  I plugged in my strand and left them on all day to see if this was the case.  Nope!  I was in luck!  I had a string of stay-cool lights.  (Probably paid extra for that little feature, and I was glad to have it!)

The string had 100 lights, but I only wanted to have six candy balls since they'd be taking up valuable tabletop space.  I counted twenty lights from the plug and then shoved three lights, one at a time, into one of the whiffle ball holes.  When I got those in, I skipped nine lights and then shoved three more lights into the next ball, and so on.  Once they were all lighted, I wrapped each one in a piece of tissue secured with tape.  The cellophane wrap is next, also secured with a little piece of clear tape.  Curling ribbon on both sides of each ball completes the candy look.  Fun!

Candy Party Invitations

Since I do a little free-lance graphic design work, you'd think my kid's birthday invitations would be beautifully designed and special ordered WAY in advance.  What is it they say about the cobbler's kids?  No shoes.  That's right.  Generally, I send out texts or simple emails with the info.  Usually, at the last minute.  This will even happen even if I've been planning the shin-dig for weeks.  Don't know why, but there it is.  The ugly truth.

I promised the kid she could have real, hold-in-your-hand invitations.  Sooo, at the last minute...

It was too late to get them printed properly so I just had them printed two-up at the local copy shop.  Evidently, my color profile didn't match properly with their machines so when I got them home, they looked a little too muted for my tastes.  What to do?  Glitter!  Oh, but I hate glitter.  Wait, that's not entirely true.  I love the look of glitter.  I hate that those shiny little flakes get EVERYWHERE and hang around for months on end.  But I do love the kid and I wanted her invitations to look nice. (aka:  not last-minute-like)

It was a win.  She liked having something to pass out and now, even a month later, I have the glitziest kitchen floor grout in the neighborhood!

3, 2, 1...CAKE!

I found THIS fantastic recipe for Aunt Betty's 1-2-3 Cake on The Hidden Pantry Blog.  I had to try it IMMEDIATELY.  Single-serve cake in ONE MINUTE any time I want?!  URGENT!

I'm not sure what I did wrong, but the texture of my 1-2-3 Cake was a little rubbery.  The flavor was delicious, but I was looking for a gushy, smooshy texture.   So I altered the recipe.  (Of course, I altered the recipe.  I always alter the recipes - sometimes even before I try the "right" way.) 

I mixed together triple chocolate fudge cake mix (because single or double is never quite enough chocolate fudge) with angel food cake mix, and then added a small box of instant chocolate pudding and a cup of crushed Oreos. I just so happened to have the crushed Oreos on hand from a different recipe I was tinkering with a couple of days ago.  When I gave my husband a status update on this particular recipe assault, he said, "You think crushed Oreos fix everything." (Blank stare.) Your point?  That's perfectly sound reasoning.  Am I right?

Anyway, back to the instant chocolate fix at hand.  Mix 3T of the mixture with 2T of water in a small microwave safe dish.  A small coffee cup works great.  Microwave for 1 minute.  Done!  Eat it warm, right out of the cup!  Squeeze on some chocolate syrup for more ooey, gooey goodness.

Store the mix in an airtight container and stash in a secret hiding place.  Tell no one. 

I altered this recipe so much, I felt the need to alter the name as well.  The name on the original recipe comes from (1) minute in the microwave, (2) tablespoons of water, and (3) tablespoons of cake mix.  But even at one minute, I found myself, hand on door handle, staring at the seconds ticking down on the timer... 3...2...1...Cake!  I hope Aunt Betty won't be offended.  I'm very thankful for her recipe that inspired me to actually try one of my pins.   Thanks Aunt Betty!

Shall I Over-Decorate?

It's the last official day of Spring Break and since our travel plans got postponed, I was feeling a little mommy-guilt.  (Don't worry.  It's my favorite ailment.  I'll be okay.  I think I may even be developing a healthy tolerance to it.)  Even still, the kiddo was giving me almost hourly updates on who was where and how much fun they were having.

It's not like she was sitting around bored.  She got an impromptu invite to a movie and a sleepover; made a trip to the library;  played something called Whirlyball that is a wacky combination of bumper cars and lacrosse; plus she skated, skated, and skated some more.  Plenty of fun.  Heck! When I was a kid...(well, never mind.)

Back to her childhood, in progress.  I told her she could host a small sleepover.  It's just four girls total, but that's enough for some squeely, up-til-dawn, tween girl fun.  I still haven't recovered fully from the...well, everything that we've been doing the last six months, so I didn't decorate, didn't over-do anything.  It's chips, some already baked sweets, customizable slushies, and kid determined/driven activities.

Easy-breezy.  And weird.  I always over-do party stuff.  I invite too many people, go overboard on the food, and generally stress out myself (and anyone within earshot of my order barking) preparing for a get-together.  For this one, my formal dining room is still a mess from the skate costume shenanigan - not that we were planning a formal dinner in there, but still.  People might see it.  (Gasp!)

I started getting a little itchy about this willy-nilly, no-plan party a few hours before our guests arrived and asked my daughter how she felt about it.  She likes it.  She didn't even take me up on my offer to do some last minute over-decorating.  Crazy, huh?  Or maybe it's NOT crazy?!  That's probably why it feels so uncomfortable for me.  Crazy is my favorite flavor on party day!

(So, when she wasn't looking, I put the chips in pretty hurricane vases and tied them with ribbons.  Shhhh....)

Note:  The hurricane vases were just under five bucks at my local Walmart and the fancy-dancy, wire-edge ribbon was an after-Christmas clearance steal at $.31 for a 9-foot roll.  (Christmas ribbon comes in lots of beautiful colors these days - not just red and green!)

Moms Unite!

I once witnessed two moms in a debate (well, it was more like a screaming match) about who had it harder:  the stay-at-home mom or the mom with a job outside the house.  How could they be so ridiculous?  It's the work-from-home moms that have it the hardest...Duh!

Truth is, being a mom is hard for ALL of us.  It's not that we'd trade our kids for an easier life, it's just that there's no immediate sense of accomplishment.  Dishes done? Yeah, well, it's time to do them again.  Made dinner for your family?  Tough luck, kiddo, they're going to expect you to do again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that.  Don't forget to make it healthy AND tasty.  If you can do it for a buck-fifty, that would be great, too.

So why all the hating?  If anyone knows what it takes to be a mom, it's another mom.  We're nurturing people, right?  Not so much when it comes to ourselves and our fellow moms.  Can we all agree to call a truce?  We're moms!  We're the ones tasked with "making it all better" and this is definitely a boo-boo worth kissing. I have some tips to get us started:

Give REAL Compliments...
Skip the 'thanks-for-making-the-rest-of-us-look-bad' compliments.  You've heard them - probably even given them.  They go something like this:  "Wow, the cupcakes you made for the bake sale are beautiful.  I could never make cupcakes like that.  I don't have any talent and I am always so busy doing 'important' things."  Really?  What should her response be?  "Thank you"?  Or, "I'm so sorry for your troubles.  I must have been wrong to think it was time well spent, but I'll try to stink at it next time, so you don't have to feel bad." Give a REAL compliment!  Don't worry, the other mom won't likely get a big head from a sincere compliment.  Chances are, even if she manages a polite "thank you", in her head she probably has a list of things she could have done better.  (I should have made more, packaged them better, added fiber, etc.)

Cut Yourself Some Slack
Crumple and burn your 'could have done it better' list.  Give yourself credit for what you did do.  Why do we always compare ourselves to the Martha's of the world like it's some sort of competition and we're in last place?  If you're going to compare, do it to make yourself feel better, not worse.  When was the last time you had a bad day and told yourself, "Well, at least I didn't forget my baby at the crack house like that chick on the news."?  We all have strengths and weakness.  Pay attention to the good stuff and shake off the other.  After all, Martha built an empire with the things she does well, but she's had her own set of troubles outside the kitchen.

Play to Your Strengths
If you're a Martha, stop apologizing.  You keep on rocking it, girlfriend!  If you're not, figure out what you're good at and do that.  Are you bossy?  Good.  That's a talent that is useful to coordinate all of us aimless volunteers at the bake sale.  Good with numbers?  Man the sales table. And if you bake beautiful cupcakes, bake them! (Even if you are making all the rest of us look bad!)

The (Latest) Last-Minute Mama Saga

I'm a last-minute-mama. There.  I said it. I don't mean to be, I just am. I'm always rushing around at the last minute, acting crazy. Even if I start "planning" weeks in advance, the execution is always just as the buzzer sounds.

My kid is a figure skater which isn't a really good match for a LMM. When it comes to costumes or props, they either need to be custom made or special ordered. Even the rhinestones and tights are "special". There is no "run by Walmart and grab something" in this sport. And if you want to avoid injury or just simple embarrassment, the skater needs time to actually skate with the prop or costume to make sure it'll work as intended.

I found myself with just a little over a week to create a costume for her Footloose routine that included skate covers that looked like cowboy boots - no easy task. They have to fit the skate boot exactly or they could trip her. Add in the fact that I don't sew very well and you've got a disaster in the making. Oh, I can picture in my mind what I want to stitch up, and in my head, it's simple. Until it's not.

I got the some pleather for the boots and I was hemming and hawing about the design. The pleather was a bit pricey so I was hesitating about making the first cut. I got the serger out, but couldn't quite remember how to thread it so that was another hesitation. We bought a jean jacket that needed to be painted and stoned (I'll do that "later", I told myself).  We bought a couple of shirts at the mall that didn't work well for skating and the jeggings were a bust, too. There's a lot of stretching and jumping and spinning. Street clothes just aren't designed for figure skaters.

Maybe I can make a blue jean skate skirt?  I don't remember much about the Footloose movie other than white tees, jeans, and boots.  (Not really flashy enough for a skate program.)  I remember there was a VW bug and a train, but those were not props I was willing to tackle.

Hem. Haw. I've still got a little over a week. And she'll be home for spring break and I'll use her as a living dress form since I don't have one, that'll help. The show isn't until the Saturday after spring break. Hold on...is it the Saturday after? Or the Saturday before? All the other skaters had their costumes and props on the ice this week...?  (check calendar) OMG!! It's the Saturday BEFORE! I have TWO days to make this happen!! There's NO WAY!

I had to tell her. My 12-year-old daughter. The one who has to go out to the center of the ice all by herself in front of a crowd of people and JUDGES who JUDGE her on her skating AND her costume that I got the date wrong. She needs to know now that there is probably no way I'll be able to make this happen for her.  That way she can get the crying over with and won't have to show her puffy eyes to the world. (Can you feel the mommy-guilt?) You know what she said? "I'm not worried. You always do your best work at the last minute."

And she was right.  Man, I love that kid!

I lost an entire day to a failed attempt at the boot covers and a sad, sad little blue jean skirt.  I ran short of the chosen pleather, made a high speed run to the fabric store only to find out they were sold out.  (Really?  Is pleather in high demand in March?)  Luckily, I found a different style that worked beautifully AND was marked down as a remnant. (Score!)  The second try on the covers worked, although you may notice in the picture that the tops of the boots weren't properly finished.  Since I wasted so many snaps on the first try, I ran short resulting in one boot cover with snaps underneath and one with safety pins.  (Whatever works, right?!) We found a skirted bathing suit bottom that is exactly like a skate skirt, stoned it & glittered it.  I cut up one of her favorite tank tops to create a rough pattern and adapted it so I could use with some shiny stretch fabric. The blue jean jacket got lots of stones, some glitter and paint, and we had a costume!  Whew!

As a mom, I'm always worried about sending my kid into adulthood without the life skills she needs.  This little saga has assured me that if nothing else, she knows how to roll with the punches and make it work.  Tim Gunn would be proud.  I know I am!

Candy Party: Wreath

The kiddo actually made this!  She cut multiple colors of tulle (lots and lots of tulle!) into 18" lengths. To make things easy, we lined up plastic shoes boxes - one for each color - and banked up lots of strips before starting to tie.  She tied three strips of a single color onto a styrofoam wreath form before adding the next color.  She repeated the same pattern all the way around.  So pretty!

When she was done, I used a few glue dots to adhere a couple of our candy decorations near the bottom.

Now that the candy party is over and Easter is on the horizon, I'm thinking I can just pop off the fake candies, add some plastic eggs, and count it as "another" finished project!

See more Candy Party posts.

Candy Party: Coin Wrapper Candy Garland

Once again, I found inspiration on Pinterest.  Big surprise, right?

The brilliant crafting minds over at Martha Stewart Living wrapped up actual rolls of coins to look like candy as stocking stuffers.  I had been planning to use toilet paper cores, but this size is so much cuter!

Materials:
~Bag of coin rollers from Dollar Tree
~Printed tissue paper (also from Dollar Tree)
~Something to stuff them with - I reused brown packing paper
~Tape
~Scissors
~Iridescent cellophane wrap
~Ribbon

Step 1:  Stuff
You might could get away with skipping this step, but I just used some old packing paper to help the coin wrappers hold their shape.

Step 2:  Wrap in Tissue, Twist Ends
I found the PERFECT candy-looking tissue at Dollar Tree.  For this project I used the striped sheets and wrapped them on an angle.  I'd love to give you precise measurements here, but I just eye-balled it like I always do. Tape to secure.

Step 3: Wrap in Cellophane
Since this didn't need to be on an angle, I just cut a strip wide enough - make sure there's plenty of width for the end twisting - and then rolled up to determine where to cut it off.

Step 4:  Tie Ends
Curling ribbon might be a good choice here.  I happened to have rolls and rolls of this shiny, wire-edge ribbon I practically stole from the Wal-Mart Christmas clearance.  It was marked 75% off so I got each roll for about a quarter.  Score!


Step 5:  String Together
I thought I'd be able to run a large needle threaded with embroidery floss through the centers, but it turned out the stuffed rollers were too dense.  I ended up using two strands of clear fishing line to wrap around the "belly" of each one with a knot above and below.

Save a few to toss around the table, adorn gifts, or add to a wreath.

Easy, right?  And SO much better than doing dishes!

See more Candy Party posts.

Naked Eggs! So Stinkin' Cool!

What's better on a lazy Saturday morning than eggs?  Raw, naked eggs!

"Don't look, Ethyl!  Dem aigs are nekkid!"

I found this experiment (via Pinterest) on Imagination Station.  You dissolve the shell from raw eggs by soaking them in vinegar but the membrane stays in tact.  We put four eggs in to soak on Thursday night, and we were able to gently wipe of the remaining shell this morning.  Waiting was the hardest part. 

I thought they might feel slimy.  They didn't at all.  The membrane felt more like a balloon.  We soaked them in water and they swelled right up!  (See pic below)  Consequently, we discovered they're a little more fragile this way - careful!

Click on either of the links above to get full instructions and ideas for ways to play with your naked eggs. 

Hope you'll try it! It's so much more fun than vacuuming!